Guilty

Yesterday marks one of the worst days I have had in mommy-hood. The kids have been fighting and bickering and talking back and yesterday I was sucked dry on grace and mercy. I put myself in time-out several times and by midnight when I still couldn't get the three biggest kids to sleep I was at the end of my rope and yelled many regretful things. I am guilty for not reacting in love. I am guilty for not being grateful for every second I have with them. This morning I reflect on yesterday with tears, going back to the basic mommy roots to start over and try to be a mommy worthy of these four little people. My heart weeps for friends who lost their beautiful little 4 year old daughter yesterday. It reminds me to make every minute count. It makes me question once again everything around me.